Green Goblins everywhere

Went to the deck last night and I brought JW a birthday cake because nobody should be without a homemade cake on their Bday. I am a wannabee domestic goddess:

So entering the bar with this got me out of paying the outrageous $10 cover, which was for what??? The night progresses and it's a fairly lame crowd. I have never had a good time at this dump. JW drags us out on the "dance" floor and we happen upon this mulletted freak who danced like noone was watching, in fact he made Taylor Hicks look graceful. He had a fancy move of grinding his toilet area into the ground, it was quite pitiful to say the least, a pic would do him no justice but this is all I got:

His friends approach us and one is particularly chatty with me. After he is clearly drunk and hanging on me I ask where his wife is, he states he is not married. Do you see where this is going? LONG story short...they are there for a friend's bachelor party. He is now "white shirt". He insists he is not married and wants to know me. I am super suspicious because I have one of my "feelings" that he is wedded. After what seems like hours of this, I go to the loo. When I return he has told Chatty that he digs me mucho and cannot understand why I do not believe him. Chatty tells him I am a witch and I just know things. He is now really happy and shows me his tattoo of a warlock on his back. I am not impressed. At this point I tell him that he should just be straight with us about being married. He INSISTS that he is not. I stare at him for a second and determine that my intuition is to be trusted over a stranger so I tell him off and state that he should have been honest hours ago, the night would have progressed the same (meaning we all would have danced and chatted together anyway) but now that he has lied the entire time I am put off by his dishonesty and insulted by his lying. I walk off.
A few min later I find JW chatting it up with some dirtbags and tell her about the mouth off and now I am tired of the evening. She is still partying it up but her cake was ruined and she is not happy because she wanted to take it home, tubby nut. Awww...

White shirt reapproaches me and now tells me that there is something wrong with me and I have trust issues among others and I should seek some professional help. He goes on to say that he was really "feeling" me and wanted to know me but is now tired of my crap and why didn't I just believe him hours earlier about not being married. He goes on and on and I actually feel bad and start to believe him, although I am still unsure. Chatty and JW say that they believe him and I should let my guard down. I don't but I do take a shot and a drink from them. We all dance on:

Okay so now it is very late and JW leaves. At some point walking across the lot with the bachelor party, white shirt tells me he is married. I F-ing was right!!! I am not pissed off becuase I was truly never interested but I am irritated with the lie. I tell him off of course and give them a ride because I feel bad for him and them. The cab drove off with another fare and they were bsing with me so....it was on my way anyway. As white shirt gets out of my car I glance at his hand and now there is a wedding band where there was none before. He states it was there the whole night (it was not) and now he wants to F me. I tell him to F himself too. Then he says it was all a test and he is happy I passed. Tells me my witchy sense was correct.
Again, what the FUCK is going on with me and the married guys this weekend, insane. Utterly stupid.
We went out east for a bit this evening and it was relaxing and no married guys bothered us. I am not drinking for the next month. I am tired and feel very fat and out of shape. Back to the grill again. Happy memorial day!!!!