Sweet dysfunction in the eye of the hurricane

I cannot believe I was considering quitting work and shacking up in my parents basement. These two are the most ridiculous people I know...where to begin. Woke up this morning with a huge wine headache (drinking with coworkers again) and father was drilling something at SEVEN AM!!! When I wandered out of my room he explained that he HAD to take apart that piece of furniture that early. They are moving tomorrow and running around all day bringing stuff to the rental house. Although my mother has yet to trash the fridge contents which of course includes 10 mustards 5 jams and shitload of mystery meals in tupperware. Don't be stupid of course they need to transport all this to the next place. Who wouldn't bring a half empty bottle of horseradish or 3 half bottles of salad dressing? On top of it when the experienced mover (me) suggests things like packing books in boxes instead of bags (yes he really thinks he can put bookcases full of books in bags AND carry them) my father makes a face and tells me I am being silly. (!!!) Moving on....eating eggs in the morning mother tells me to have juice, i tell her i dont like juice in the morning, she suggests coffee, i dont drink caff coffee, oh have diet soda. yum freaking diet coke with egg white omelet. of course she asks what i want for dinner. i havent even finished the damn eggs yet. manage to waste the rest of the day lazing around, more specifically i took a shower for 70 minutes!!! i felt so guilty for using all that water but a girl needs to indulge sometimes no?
dinner was at the greek place which was great but mother called big raps and he showed up. TWO hours spent with the 3 of them. conversation was amusing to say the least. here are the highlights:
me: father, if you were given 100 million dollars, how much would you give me? him: do i have to pay tax first? me: no [asswipe] i just put 100mil in a joint checking acct you can spend it as you please. him: well i would use it all and buy tax free municipal bonds which would yield $4M/yr and i would live off that. me: [dick]thats not the question, the question is how much would you give me? him: hmm well that depends on your situation. me: why????? i am your only daughter who cares what the situation is? him: fine you want a #? me: yes already. him: $500,000/yr. me: are you kidding me? you are sitting on $100M from which youre netting 4M EACH yr and you are going to give me $500G's along with stipulations??? keep it, youre fucking bats. mother: dont listen to him li, you know he's nuts, i'd giveyou $10M the first year. me: thanks mother. her only stip was that i had to spend thanksgiving with them. then she mentioned something about maybe being a grandmother someday and ......i tuned the rest out.
ok so what else?? father asked about mickey. i explained she most likely has cancer and won't be here next year this time. what kind of cancer? lymphoma we think. mother says OMG i didnt know that, shes going to die. Hold the press, we've got a sherlock here. She told me to watch my language, 'i dont want to hear it at the dinner table'. c'mon woman give it a rest. so here is the best part: after dinner, we get back to the house, she is nagging me about 2 freaking dresses hanging in the closet that i need to throw out or take with me BUT she is lying in bed watching some bs television while the bathroom is completely full and the kitchen is also. meantime father is making fun of how she is tired and she is bored of packing but he is eating his frozen fudge bar on the sofa downstairs. but we jsut got back from dinner, "but i always eat a fudge bar at night, its my snack", are you hungry? "nope". the books are not boxed or bagged either. Here is the final note: Mickey just busted out of the kitchen and made her way up the stairs which she is not supposed to be doing and wandered into my old room, mother starts about how shes not allowed on the bed. keep in mind the bed is about 3 feet off the ground, the dog just had surgery and has arthritis. i tell her stop hocking us about it, shes not going on the bed. mother: oh Li, chill out already. (me??) no its not that bad but this is the last time i sleep over, nuff said.

song for today was hard to pick so...Shining star - Earth wind & fire; Your song - elton john; paper underwear - david holmes (??) Finally got ipod back in the car! No pic today, not at my computer.