Life is not always a bowl of cherries, sometimes there is poo in the bowl!

So life is a highway, enjoy the ride, blah blah...I guess we have to since this is the only life we have. Thought for today, was in the mall returning more clothing, of course and noticed all of these young teenage girls wearing way too little clothing and way too much makeup. Don't these women have parents to tell them how slutty they look?
Gigglepuss and I tried to get down south this weekend to experience the beaches of our coast but we seemed to have trouble with maps and directions and roads and the co-pilot had shirked on her duties as did I and we found ourselves 65 miles out of the way and in Cape May, NJ after sitting in 3 hours of grueling Jersey shore traffic so we corrected our mistake and drove 55 miles back to get on track, argh! After being in the car for forever we stopped on a highway in Va. Got drunk very quickly, probably due to lack of food and energy, called someone we thought we were buddies with and soon found out we were wrong. Oh so fucking wrong.
The next day, Giggles was vomiting the ENTIRE day and Mickey was passed out cold from being in the car so long so she was asleep. Giggles could not brave another drive and being away from a bathroom, so I went to the beach by myself and got completely lost in Va, with no map of course. Finally at night, Giggles pulled it together and we went out drinking, ran into some seemingly normal guy at 7-11 who gave us a bunch of so-called 'groovy' places to hang out in and his phone #. Cha right....he had to be gay or just trying to be, the joints were all lame, so we went to the first busy place we saw and ran into a freaky local alcoholic from the night before, weird. But there is no such thing as fate so I guess it was coincidence, what is coincidence anyway, and why does it happen so much to me?
Soooo, he and his drunk old friend jam their beers in their pockets and they tell us they will show us all the local gin joints and they did. We must have gone to at least 8 bars then wound up at the same place as the night before, which is probably the nicest place around in this redneck town. This freak then tells me that I look like Mel Gibson (????). By now, we are spent and buzzed and just want to eat snacks. So we manage to find our way back to the hotel along some local road but stop at another bar where I pay $20 for a rum and coke and get $4 back (of course, because I have a Seinfeld life) so I tell the wench and she claims I gave her $10 which I know is not true because I only had $7 and the rest were $20s. Now I am pissed all over the place and I leave to make a phone call outside which results in an emotional tirade which went on and on and on. And on.
Finally we get to another 7-11 since everything in this goddamn town is closed and I think we bought snacks and water. We get to the hotel and it is fucking freezing from the a/c and Mickey is still passed out. I lost an earring of course, fucking again. The next day, we walked around town and ate bad mexican food before happening upon a sweet sushi joint but Mickey was so completely incapable of walking around that Giggles had to go back and get the car while she and I sat on the beach and cooled off. Can you believe I forgot my camera? me? I had only a couple of dig photos b/c I forgot my handy disposable cam in the car.
The drive back was relaxing, weather was great and we only made a 30 minute mistake this time. We got Roy Rogers and it was awesomely disgusting but in a good way, since there aren't any around here. Dropped off Giggles without a problem and had to get some drink, hah!